I don't know what to title this post.. A subject, which everyone knows about, and still ignores.. Because they only feel apathy towards it all..
Try being a woman,walking down the road.. You'll see.. rather, feel the male gaze at the back of your head.. Don't even think about it in a crowded bus.. Jostling near the ladies side is a favourite passtime of many a male.
Have men never seen women before??
A woman wearing jeans is looked at, stared at, as if she's an alien and is new to the planet.. whereas every second woman on the road is wearing one.
What i don't understand is, if you can wear jeans, why can't I ?
Why am I expected to toe the traditional line and wear something "demure" like the salwar? Do you don traditional attire everytime you step out of the house?
Why should I be told what to wear and what not to?
And, Who are you to tell me?
Do I keep staring at you when you wear earrings, initially a "girl" concept ??
The problem is when someone utters something and goes off in the opposite direction, I normally do not have time to go after him. When I say "I", I signify the general woman. And even if I do have time, what do I tell him? Half the time I do not understand what the person utters.
I can't go slap him in the face.. He might say he never spoke to me in the first place and then I might have to suffer a backlash from the crowd, which would definitely have gathered by then....
Filing a complaint with the police is a farce. What is the maximum that can happen? He might have to spend the evening on a bench in the station,gossiping with the constable.. And then when he comes out, he starts looking for me, vengeance in mind!!!!
So,all I do is swallow the anger, and keep walking as if the guy doesn't exist.
But what if you keep facing these problems everyday? Do you just pray to God that "One Fine Day" it should all stop?? Do you start wearing "demure" dresses??
Why should you? It's the male who needs to change.If he doesn't, you go your way and he'll find his..
If he can wear trousers,so can she. When he studies,so does she, better than many.. When he goes to work, so does she. Do males feel jealous? Are they wary of the extra competition from the oppsite sex? What really is the problem with people??
Only men know.. The "Male Chauvinism" is yet to be vanquished..
"I'm a male and She'll do as I say.."
If she doesn't, she's characterless..
You are SO FULL of it, "character", when you stare at a girl your sister's age, just because she's wearing jeans.. After all, how dare she? Jeans is the birthright of males.. Females cannot usurp that right can they now?
frustrated males stare at females wearing western outfits..just brings in to light their frustration in life..women have the right to wear everything they wish but the line between stylish and skimpy outfits must be maintained..a woman wearing raunchy dresses and walking in the streets will not be accepted by our society.obviously she should not be beaten up for that but surely the line must not be crossed..women have the RIGHT to wear proper western outfits and they should continue..
ReplyDeleteone point solution to such a major problem like eve-teasing is not in sight..maybe cases of women reacting(not police complaint plz)like few slaps or a group of women harassing a few road-romeos perfectly fit the bill.if women have the courage to stand up for their own respect then i am sure people around will also support them too..but women must at and only then this problem might head for a solution..also the films and television ads which somehow play on the minds of male who tease their opposite sex should be curbed for the good of the society...
i understand what your saying .... but what say some hot looking woman is strutting down the road in a skimpy,raunchy outfit..... is it not meant to attract attention and gleeful stares ...the very thing with many women like you have said here loathe ? ............... i agree..... the degree of ogling in our country is quite more compared to many other places... but it is not only the man who is to blame for this ..... as India ... grapples with its expanding curtural horizons ... and its fascination to grasp western cultures in outfits ... mannerisms and lifestyle ... such oggles are bound to happen... cause a chasm has been created between ...a chasm of culture that is widenening with every passing day ........ the only solution is not to blame the men that eve-tease or to castise the woman who are hell bent in strutting their stuff in the skimpiest of clothes through the poverty ridden footpaths of our cities..... but to expand the scope of the police.... in handling such issues.... and stricter measures to ensure the safety of woman ...man and the children of this country in general . ;-)
ReplyDeleteWhen people meant to enforce the law look sideways, or point fingers at you,saying you provoke the guy, and get what you deserve, would you feel like lodging a complaint? But yes, if things are to improve, people need to broaden their minds and "certain" women need to curtail theirs' .... And if the police can help, well and good.. And if the woman is walking in a group when accosted, she should give the man what he deserves.. a sound thrashing.
ReplyDeleteya ya ..give thrashing when warranted .... but women dress up to be admired only na ... if sometimes admiration goes out of hand...well within your rights to give bashing ;-)
ReplyDeleteotherwise..... let the mild oglers ogle ... ;-)
theres a difference between getting admired n teased... n western, raunchy dresses is just an excuse.... guys tease girls wearing sarees, salwars or any indian dress!
ReplyDeleteprotesting to these demands a lot of courage which many lack... moreover, even if i manage to do it, ppl change it into a spicy discussion..... so what do u have to say about this?
by no means am i defending teasers ....but i am trying to explain the reasons which results in such behavior.... we live in a poor country ........ and the difference within the rich and the poor is the main cause of women being teased... and not some God given fault with the Indian guy hormone.........
ReplyDeletefew years ago topics such as sex were taboo even on Indian television.... now our society has suddenly been opened to sex ...and our traditional cultures have been gurgled with sexually explicit customs of the west ..... this sudden intermixing of polar opposite of ideologies has led to the sudden demise of social values.........
As it is ...the role of women in our country has never been accepted until quite recently.... now the Indian women has taken strives forward in every sphere of society and many more avenues have been opened for women in our country which where thought impossible a decade back ....
we profess to be expanding as an economy and as a culture ..our expanding boundaries require stricter measures for social protection ... rather than projecting a booming economy .........when the ground realities actually suck ..........
the duty lies with not the offended but with the police to provide protection for the hands that feed them...the tax-payers ..we the people .
accountability needs to be increased on all areas.... of our system ..... and this in turn will lead to people respecting the law......and implementing socially acceptable practices...... i.e .... strike the fear of Law into eve teasers ...
The slow but sure progress of women in India to an equal footing with men ... unfortunately has its negative points ...and eve teasing is an outcome of such negativity.... but we can hope that more funding will go into social governance and stricter police measures to deal with all forms of hooliganisms...
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ReplyDeleteYou should be grateful to God that you get so much attention from the opposite sex, we die to get some attention from females. When I see a hot girl I tell my friends to check her out, just watch her and I bet 70 percent of the guys do like that only. Why should it make you uncomfortable ...the guy is only watching because you look great. Pardon me if I sound vulgar but women need to be more confident and happy about their body the way it is. Each time a girl looks at me, I am really happy and if she keeps on staring like making a connection , I throw a small-sized party for my friends out there(which does not happen much though). So as I see it, "ghar me maa, behen nahi hai kya" waale dialogues are too much arbit and really not apt. Agar kal main bolu k "ghar mein baap bhai nahi hai kya? " toh kaisa lagega :P .. ?? Females are much beautiful and tender and softer than males ... and I can't imagine a comparison between men and women in their looks ...So see it as a compliment the next time a guy stares at you. No one is trying to eat you up... and if u feel so insecure, get a bodyguard cum boyfriend .. most of the women does that. ;)
ReplyDeleteget into the shoes of a girl n u'll understand where the problem lies... n often the intentions are not so pure......
ReplyDeleteits a general problem today,dekhe valo laglo j eta nie protibad korar lok o ache.tobe ekhathe to tali bajena tai indirectly holeo meyeder o ei bepare sompurno nirdosh bola jayna,tobe sei percentage ta kom.thik serokom vabe amader somaje emon manushder o ovab nei jara meye der jothesto somman dite jane,onyayer birudhe protibad korte jane,tobe sei sonkha ta kom.amader responsibility oi sonkha tak barano.we hope we can do it.tobe mulyobodh jagoron ghotanor daitto o amader.tobe kichu particular bikrito manoshikota sampanno manush der janya puro somaj tak dosh deoa to thik noy,borong tader sudho kore tolatai kortobyo.............
ReplyDeleteI agree...I am a male.....I look at girls when I am outside the house....not only when they wear jeans...but also when they wear salwar...and of course those wearing sari(though very few).....heh!!!
ReplyDeleteYou know its not always frustration as most of the "GOOD" guys coin the term....I guess at times its just the normal hormonal urge to appreciate the beauty of the opposite sex....
I agree, the things that happen in public buses and local trains, is something that can only be stopped through proper campaign and educating the mass....Education is very important....Having said that I would also say, above all these, the most important thing is the nature of one's mind...If he is a pervert nothing on earth can spare You...nothing on earth can spare his Mom even...
Dressing yourself in your own way is your birthright...No asshole's stare should evoke this thought in your mind that in this Patriarchal Society jeans are for men and ear-rings for women...
Nature had given us only cotton....and metal ores....
Our present civilisation has processed that cotton into satin and terrycotton which has further transformed into Jockey and.....Ah...I dont know know the brand name....!!!
And the civilisation consists of both male and female....So just as I being a guy can't impose my thoughts on You....similarly You being a women should not forget your basic and civic responsibilties...
Of course I is not Rahul.....You is not Preetha....
They refer to the general mass standing outside or sleeping under the clear sky or in their deluxe flats...irrespective of gender....
So dress yourself in your own way....Enjoy the male gaze...Its normal....The moment you feel its not normal do have the guts to go up and ask him what his problem is...I am sure at least one out many will stand by your side and help you fight your battle!!!!
aww vengeful backlash :) i wd hav sympathised if someone actually did something but looking at u!!! such a heinous crime!!! no point denying men like looking at women thats nature and too all Sensitive New Age Guy's middle finger! lol
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